This is the first weekend in a while I am not leaving nor am I already gone to some race or other wild adventure. Whenever my pace slows down, my high I love to ride on starts sliding, very fast. Contrary to most people’s popular belief, yes, I can experience lows. I don’t like them, but I’m human.
For those who know my ‘stories’, life for me has had some very tough moments. It is here that I start thinking about those times as well as maybe some of the parts of my life at the moment that perhaps aren’t so great. As with most of us, I don’t like these thoughts or feelings, but I do realize–hopefully sooner than later–that if it wasn’t for these lows, my highs wouldn’t be quite so amazingly euphoric. Especially for everyone who sees me bouncing around at races so excited I can hardly contain myself, it is me knowing how incredibly lucky I am to be there, let alone race pretty darn well. A few years ago, I faced the prospect of never putting on my racing shoes, or helmet, or anything. When faced with prospects, such as these, being stripped of your passion overnight, it hits home so very hard, what you had. I am certain there are many who can fill in the blank of things they’ve lost been forced to let go of when they least expected it or wanted to. These are the times when I truly realize what I had and now miss so very much. It is like a piece of my soul was missing.
Want to rebuild an even stronger soul? Find a way to climb back up the mountain. Aim for a higher peak, or maybe it will be a different mountain than you’ve ever scaled. As a dear friend once taught me, it is baby step that will get you to the top. One foot in front of the other. It might be the most difficult thing you ever do, a few (or many falls) might occur along the way, but wow is the view from this new peak amazing! You find that when you let go of those things, that sometimes they never come back, yet they may, perhaps in a new fulfilling way. I have always found that when I allow my cup to empty, it then has room to be filled with the most amazing things. Life becomes so precious and beautiful once again. How incredible.
One of the keys to pulling myself out of these moments is realizing that there are many things, people, etc. in my life right now that are good. I have just forgotten. I do receive help many times from others to help me see. The blinders can be so tight. Thank you to Steve, and Art, and Ramon and the list goes on and on and on of those who have helped me and still remind me in my heart that there are many wonderful, caring friends out there who love me and all of my quirks.
I am so thankful for warm, sunny days, rainbows (as I saw last night) after a spring rain, flowers, races (sometimes it takes until after they’re over!!), solo rides and runs, riding with friends, good times, hard times, a happy place for me and my son to live, sunrise and sunset, nature, beauty, love, peace, health, prosperity in all ways, inspiring people. I could go on and on. In my heart I am!
I feel so light right now!!! I think I’ll go for a run! Gratitude for even the little things. All those little things become my mountain. I’m standing on top and I love the view! Thank you!