29 November 2007 By Rachel’s


That’s about what I am feeling like. I am always talking about the difference between the masses of zombies I see walking around and how very few people seem to actually be ‘alive’ and ‘awake’. A beautiful sight, those who really live… I typically consider myself as one who lives freely and fully, but this year I really got the rug pulled out from under me. I’m living in PC right now which would be great, except that it adds about 4X as much gas and miles and time spent in the car that could be spent ‘living’. I would love it up here if I actually got to enjoy the outdoors, exept I leave for SLC in the AM in the dark and arrive in the PM in the dark. It pretty much sucks. I get home and by the time I get everything done for Canyon and clients for the next day, I am dead tired and the night is so late. Then I wake up super early just to fly down the canyon with Canyon just in time to meet my first clients 5 minutes late. Rat races. I refuse to live that kind of chaos. I only like chaos if I get to choose it and make my own rules concerning it. I am feeling like I am losing a bit of my spark and I refuse to submit to a life that is anything but adventure.
So very long story short as to how I actually ended up in the exact situation I’m in, here I am! Plain and simple. I do feel like I need 1 of 2 things to happen.
A) I either need to move back to valley so I don’t feel so spread out–this would dictate that I again a) find a place to live that is affordable for my meager budget these days and accomodates my son as well, and b) HTFU and start working more hours that I actually get paid for so the budget isn’t quite so tight
B) HTFU and find a way to start working a couple of days in Park City area so I feel like it is more worth living up here in the land of xtra freezing weather…
Suggestions anyone?

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I will always remember waking up at the age of 12 to the pain I saw in so many while simultaneously realizing how lucky I was to feel fantastic.

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